Who I'm Not
by verbal acuity
Summary: Jake/Eli. Yeah, I went there. - Jake's not who his dad thinks he is. He doesn't want Clare like he should. Instead, he wants someone else. Someone who he'd thought unreachable. - ONESHOT. Not writing more of this.


DISCLAIMER: Degrassi isn't mine.

Okay, well. As soon as I found out Jake Martin is played by Justin Kelly, my fangirl heart exploded and I needed to write Jake/Eli. Because imagine Justin and Munro kissing. Woo~ So, yeah. This is terrible, badly written, anything you can think of. I perused what information the Internet gave me on this character to write this, so bear with me. My mind wanders. This was a challenge by **Liekomgz** because she owns my soul and I do as she asks. xD So. I hope someone likes this~

WARNINGS: Kissing. Mild grinding above the clothes. Yeah. Takes awhile to happen, though, so.

* * *

+ **Who I'm Not** +

Clare. Clare Edwards. Little Edwards, the petite girl that he'd collected bugs with when he was little. She was nice, at least how he'd remembered her. She wasn't what Jake was looking for, though. When his dad told him, "Hey son, you're transferring to Degrassi," at first he was ecstatic. If he recalled correctly, Degrassi was in the town he'd grown up in. Sure he wouldn't see all his friends from back then again... but he could make more.

His mother dying was what drove him and his father to leave. The town had too many memories, they couldn't handle it. He was barely given time to say goodbye to a crying Clare on the sidewalk, the girl whom he'd vowed to marry someday. He remembered staring through the back window, watching Clare get smaller and smaller until they turned the corner and she was no longer in sight. He'd cried for weeks.

Mr. Martin busied him with showing him how to paint, use a hammer and nails properly, and fix small things up in their cottage. As he grew, his father gave him permission to use the ax. He was taught proper swings and how to hold the handle so it didn't go flying when he swung. He'd gotten the hang of it quick. And he'd built shelves and bookcases. Cupboards and desks. It took time, but it came out perfectly. Sanded down to perfection and glazed, they sold their handiwork at the nearest shops to make easy money. There was always plenty of wood to work from where they lived.

"You'll like Degrassi, kiddo," his dad said as he folded stuff neatly onto his bed and packed his suitcase. "That Edwards girl - Clare, was it? - is a sophomore now. Didn't you always tell me how you had you two's wedding planned out?" he chuckled, stuffing clothes and pocketknives into the suitcase. He always carried pocketknives. They came in handy when working with wood. Over the years, he and Jake have obtained many a splinter, and the easiest way to get them out was with a knife. "You're a junior, but you'll be in the same school. You might run into her, you know, maybe proclaim your love?"

"Dad!" Jake complained with a sigh. "I was seven! I'm sure with how pretty she was back then she has a boyfriend now and she won't have any interest in me." He wanted to drop the subject, hoping that would dissuade his father from talking further of the subject, but there never was dissuading such a man as his father.

"Now listen here, Jacob," Mr. Martin said, stopping his packing and turning to see him. "What girl _wouldn't_ be interested in you? You're fit, tan, strong. Hell, you're handsome as can be. Girls at Degrassi should be lining up at our front door!" he laughed and resumed his packing. "Now go get packing, we leave tomorrow."

Jake couldn't fathom leaving here. It had been his home for almost ten years now. But his dad never said anything about selling it. It could be their summer home. It didn't matter, though. He wasn't interested in Clare, or any girl for that matter. But it would break his dad's heart if he knew that.

* * *

The ride back to their old hometown wasn't as long as he remembered it to be. Jake guessed that was because he was such an antsy kid, sitting for more than ten minutes irked him. But after growing up into working hard and sunlight pounding on his used-to-be pale skin, he'd grown into appreciating any moment of rest he could take. But just for old time's sake:

"Are we there yet?"

His dad shook his head with a chuckle and accelerated, Jake reaching for the radio dial and finding a station they both liked: a rock station.

* * *

"Wake up," Mr. Martin said, shaking Jake's shoulder and startling him into alertness. "We're home."

Jake sat up and looked around the area. It was a residential area and a quiet street. He looked at the time and there was another three hours until school ended. He didn't have anything to do. He knew no one in Degrassi really, so he couldn't just walk in and ask to see so and so. He'd have to wait until school ended or until he started school there to make friends. "Here, I'll help you unpack-"

"I can unload the truck back there," he said, nudging towards the small moving trailer that was attached to the old pickup. He handed Jake the keys. "Take the pickup to the school and register yourself. I hear they've got uniforms, so you'll need to ask where you get those and then you can help me unpack. You need schooling." And with that he walked to the front porch and unlocked the door. Jake unhooked the moving trailer from the pickup and hopped in, speeding towards Degrassi. Funny, even after all these years, the roads were so familiar, it was as if he never left.

It wasn't much of a drive. He found the school just fine and managed to find a parking spot with such luck, though the hearse parked next to the empty spot was a little unnerving. Had someone died, or...?

Shaking his head, he got out of the truck and headed towards the building. Kids were outside eating lunch, wearing hideous uniforms. He saw four different colored polo shirts and khaki pants and skirts. He wasn't exactly looking forward to wearing what he was seeing.

As he opened the door, someone bumped into him; a boy, messy dark hair and black colored nails falling backwards from the impact. He was small for his age but Jake paid no mind, simply just caught his small wrist in one hand and pulled him upright. Bright green, curious eyes met his ice blue and he was momentarily lost in the seafoam green he'd just seen. Jake didn't know what to say or do. This kid's wrist was still in his and none of them had moved. At least not until the smaller boy cleared his throat.

"Hey, uh, no name," he said, looking down at the hand holding his wrist. "Mind if I have my hand back? It's my writing hand and comes in handy when trying to pass classes."

Shocked, Jake let go and took a step back, holding the door for him and letting him walk by. "Sorry about that, I'm Jake. I'm new here," he said, contemplating holding his hand out for the kid to shake, but deciding against it considering he almost stole his appendage as it was.

"Nice to meet you, I'm-"

"Eli! There you are," a girl's voice - like birds chirping first thing in the morning, letting you know how beautiful of a day it was going to be - sounded from behind Jake and he and the boy, who he gathered was named Eli, turned to see where it came from. Jake knew the moment he saw her who it was. Clare Edwards. Except this time... she didn't have glasses.

Eli opened his mouth to speak, but Jake beat him to it. "Hi, Clare. Long time no see."

Blinking in sudden shock, Clare's ocean blue eyes found Jake's icy orbs. "Jake?" she murmured, stepping closer. "Jake Martin? Oh my goodness, _Jake_! Where have you been?" she asked, quickly coming up to him and hugging him lightly. He returned the light hug and then she pulled back. "Jake, this is Eli. Eli, this is-"

"He told me his name," Eli said coldly, arms folded across his chest and green eyes glaring daggers at the taller boy who'd just hugged his girlfriend. "Lunch is almost over, Clare. We better go."

Jake wondered momentarily why the boy who was just so nice turned ice cold. Did he think that he wanted Clare? Jake didn't like girls. But this kid - this Eli, as mysterious as he was - was intriguing and for some reason, when Clare and Jake said their goodbyes, and Jake was measured for his khakis and polo, he realized he couldn't get Eli out of his head. And even better? He found out what the polo colors were for. Red was for juniors, like Jake. And red was also the color of the polo Eli wore when he bumped into him.

* * *

Mr. Martin asked Jake every night if he'd seen Clare, or if Clare was affected by his "boyish good looks". And every night he gave his dad the same answer, "She has a boyfriend, dad, and I'm just going to focus on school." Though that may have been a blatant lie. The few classes he'd shared with Eli were spent staring at Eli, the way he chewed his pencap and the way he tapped the pen on the desk in impatience for the lesson to be over. Sometimes Jake caught Eli staring back. And sometimes he found a blush on those pale cheeks when he did so. They'd have to talk sooner or later.

When the bell rang, he caught Eli at his desk. "Hey," he said, adjusting the backpack on his shoulder so it didn't slip down. "How are things with you and Clare?" He was rewarded with a glare and decided it'd be best to take a step back. "Look, Eli, she's just a girl I used to collect bugs with when I was seven. I'm too grown up now to catch bugs or even bother looking under rocks when I could be making money sanding shelves."

Books securely in his packpack, Eli shrugged past Jake. "What's your interest in me, then, Martin?"

Last name basis, he thought with a roll of his eyes. "Interest?" he asked with a chuckle, ignoring the drop in his stomach. You in general are my interest... he couldn't keep the thought out; he was just glad he didn't say it aloud. "I just haven't made any friends here and I thought maybe you and I could be friends, since we both knew Clare before each other."

Eli narrowed his eyes for a moment but then shrugged and smiled. "Deal. I'll catch you later," he said and left Jake alone in the room.

* * *

Althought Jake's original intention was to be closer to Eli, when they'd all hung out, Jake and Adam were the ones sitting together gagging at the disgusting mushiness that Eli and Clare's googly eyes inflicted. They both made gagging noises and just all around made fun of the two lovebirds, though Jake's disgust was different from Adam's. Jake wanted to be the one kissing Eli instead of Clare.

"Have they _always_ been like this, Adam?" Jake asked, taking a sip of his to-go coffee from the Dot. They were in Eli's living room, the TV that had been playing some late 90s movie now forgotten and muted as they all conversed and talked over their drinks.

Nodding gravely, Adam sighed. "All the time, man. I'm so lucky you're around. Otherwise I'd be in this alone!" he joked and Jake chuckled. Eli and Clare shook their heads and, to spite the two other boys, pecked each other on the lips softly, sweetly. Adam and Jake gagged all over again.

"Get a room!" they said in unison, making Eli and Clare break apart laughing.

Hours were spent joking and laughing until Clare looked at her watch and jumped up from the couch. "Oh, shoot!" she said frantically. "I have to go!" She grabbed her bag from the couch behind her, pecked Eli on the lips and with an, "I love you," headed towards the door.

"Clare, I'll drive you-" Eli started, but Adam cut in.

"I'll walk her. I gotta go anyway. I'll talk to you guys later," he said, pounding fists with both boys and following Clare out the door.

Eli and Jake were left alone and the blush that crept up Eli's neck and covered his cheeks couldn't be helped. Jake smirked when he noticed. "You're always blushing when you're around me, Goldsworthy," he said softly, eyes never leaving the green eyes and pink cheeks. "Why is that, hm?"

He bit his lip and Jake noticed that too, as well as the bobbing of his Adam's apple as he swallowed. "It- it's getting late, isn't it? We have school tomorrow, Jake." But Jake had already situated himself next to Eli on the couch and pulled him closer by an arm around his waist. "...Jake?"

"You know, Eli, ever since you bumped into me, I've wondered what it'd be like to kiss you. Mind if I try it out? No strings attached. I just want a taste." And before Eli could respond or slide away, lips were on his demanding, chapped and opening his mouth for a tongue to slip inside. He'd immediately relaxed into the kiss and almost melted as two arms around his waist pulled him into a warm lap and he was kissed deeper, breath being stolen away. He could barely catch his breath by the time the kiss ended and he was panting in strong, tan arms, head against a strong shoulder. "That was better than I'd expected," Jake whispered in Eli's ear, sending a shiver down his spine. "Ironic that I enjoy kissing the boyfriend of the girl I wanted to marry when I was seven years old," he chuckled, swooping down for another kiss. And this time, Eli kissed back with equal fervor, egging Jake on and almost whimpering for more.

Lips still locked, Jake lifted Eli by his waist and made the smaller boy straddle him so their groins could touch ever so slightly. They both gasped into the kiss at the sudden friction and he forced the boy on top of him down harder, soothing the need that had grown by their simple kiss. He almost lost his mind when his name passed Eli's lips breathily in a pant mixed into a moan. He knew he had to stop soon. This was as far as they could go. Eli had Clare and as much as Jake wanted Eli, he wasn't willing to break his childhood's friend by stealing her boyfriend.

"We need to stop," Jake murmured against Eli's lips, lifting him off of him and pushing him onto the couch. "If we go any further, I won't be able to stop."

"I don't.. I don't want you to stop," Eli panted, trying to climb back into Jake's lap but was stopped by firm hands on his shoulders. "Jake-"

Sighing, Jake pecked him on the lips. "I don't think you understand, Goldsworthy," he said warningly. "If I have all of you, or anything more than a kiss, I won't let you go. And believe me, it is not my intention to steal you away from Clare." He kissed away Eli's whine of protest. "So I'm going to walk now and you're going to sleep on this and you're going to make your choice. I won't pressure you. But I won't take you unless you're not with her anymore." Kissing Eli once more, he stood up from the couch and grabbed his backpack and truck keys. "I'll see you tomorrow, Eli." And he left Eli alone to his thoughts.

* * *

Eli ignored and avoided Jake everyday for the next week, which left Jake at the table that the football and basketball players sat at. It felt good to be able to discuss sports with someone who cared. Adam cared, yes, but most of the time Jake had spent his lunch hour staring at Eli, so he had no time for Sports Talk with Adam Torres.

The classes he and Eli shared were awkward without them on talking terms, but Jake managed. If this was Eli's way of staying with Clare, then so be it.

It wasn't until they were in the boys' locker room the Friday a week after "that night" that Jake felt small hands on his shoulders turning him and firm, demanding lips kissed his own that he realized Eli had made his choice finally. Grabbing the smaller boy's waist, Jake pushed him away, trying to keep his breathing calm. "Eli?"

Biting his lip, Eli stepped back and sighed. "I told Clare that we can't.. we can't be together anymore. After that night with you, I just... Jake, I want you as badly as you want me." His green eyes pleading, the ice in Jake's blue eyes melted and he pulled Eli closer. He kissed his cheek and Eli sighed in contentment. "Does this mean...?"

"This means, Goldsworthy," Jake murmured hotly into his ear, sending shivers down his spine. "That you're mine now, and there won't be any holding back on my behalf when you come over later. My dad's away at the cottage for the weekend." And all Eli could do was nod and kiss him again, harder this time.

* * *

Review? :D


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